O/T An assault report

[Teh Bear without Brains kinda idiot]

Hello ,folks !

That`s what actually happened to Eeyore yesterday .

He is too depressed to tell this horrible story himself ,so I wrote it from his words

 

That`s what Eeyore told me :

 

That ugly,snurly,sqwirky day

I met teh dirky Helluvay

And up and down the thordly road

He boarked and yalped ,teh scruer snorp.

 

He strudeled hard and jimpered high

With freeking skrill

And dreeding cry

Then rooshed at me up from the high

 

I fought teh beast with bruer legs

With flists and glists and lost my prants

I lost my fur ,teh schlumsy tail

But Helluvay had run away !

 

People ,be cautios !

 

Teh bear me

[cadist]

Dreaming again

[Scott Bond]

Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted

[mayday]

quote:

---

That`s what actually happened to Eeyore yesterday

---

come on tell the thruth poo

eeyore got his arse kicked at the bar last night didnt he

prolly being an xxxx again

[kamman25]

They must grow some mighty fine grass down in the hundred acre wood

[MACHINEMASTERG]

puff puff pass

[ScottyB]

Pooh needs to cut back...I'd recommend

Puff-->PASS

[jrykrl]

Pass it to me, I need it the most

Jer teh 420

[Rekd™]

I think he needs to quick sucking on that exhaust pipe..

[Teh Bear without Brains kinda idiot]

Well ,well ,well ....

 

I expected this .

No trace of pity ,sorry for poor donkey .

Joking ,eh ?!?

 

Well ,I will reply ,anyway .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

come on tell the thruth poo

eeyore got his arse kicked at the bar last night didnt he

prolly being an xxxx again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

They must grow some mighty fine grass down in the hundred acre wood

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Eeyore was in sober state as usual ,2-3 rounds of beer .

2 I do not use grass

We have only the regular grass here and the

bluegrass.

The bluegrass is a special favourite of Eeyore , it makes him dizzy with music ,but thats a common thing between donkeys .

He said he hadn`t used it that day anyway !

 

3. I showed this report to teh Owl and he says it`s authentic .

" Some particular details undoubtfully prove

this ,like

~~~~~~~~~~

dirky Helluvay

~~~~~~~~~~

Only a person actually engaged in a combat with Helluvay would know that he is dirky

~~~~~~~~~~

He boarked and yalped ,teh scruer snorp.

~~~~~~~~~~

This detailed discription is a proof enough !

I wonder only why Eeyore used the word schlumsy ,,this is an Yiddish word ,that my grandmother used ,when in my childhood I usially returned home from playing in the yard "

 

4.

A couple of words to teh Original teh ,Mr Matt Rekd :

Instead of chasing a TickleMonster and us ,nonhumans we expect you to express support in our everyday fight for the very existance of us ,Forum nonhuman minority !

 

Teh bear me

 

[ 06-16-2004, 05:24 AM: Message edited by: Winnie Teh Pooh ]

[Teh Bear without Brains kinda idiot]

Hello ,gentle Humans !

 

That`s what Eeyore told about yesterday unsuccessful assail on his and Piglet lives,

the very existance of the nonhumans in teh Hundred

Acre Wood is under threat !

 

I was sitting on the log with a hog (Piglet ,spec.)

Drinking beer ,smoking cig. from a fig

Chatting nicely about hex and the sex ,

Talking quietly about Mastercam X (you know what I mean )

 

And suddenly Vimpires with whizzeling glimpers

Attacked me and Piglet (hog ,sorta )with shiddering himpers

They yalped and they skreamed and they showed long sharp fringers

And up from the sky on us froggged ...

 

Or Alas and Hellas !

Imagine it ,fellas !

We ran far away from that place

The sheer ,but painful disgrace !

 

Teh shocked

 

[ 06-21-2004, 06:11 AM: Message edited by: Winnie Teh Pooh ]

[Rekd™]

Iskandar,

 

"Wanna get away?"

 

You're starting to scare me..

[Fig sign]

Hi ,Matt !

 

Can not get it with "get away " matter ,but I suppose

it is Winnie`s fault .

He abused two decent persons -Eeyore and Piglet .

They are furious .

"How would he dare to call teh Piglet (little animal )and

his best friend some hog ?

When I was smoking cig. with a fig ?- Eeyore asks "

Other things look true ,this is sad story ,that can happen

to any donkey and Piglet any time .

True ,sad and scaring .Vimpires are getting very menacing.

 

PS. my psychologist sais I am mentally healthy

[Teh Bear without Brains kinda idiot]

Attention ,humans and nonhumans (aliens ) !!!!!

 

Eeyore is going to publish some parts of his new book :

Monsters of teh 100 Acre wood ,Survival Guide.

(DumbA$$ publ,2004 @)

 

Some topics of the book :

 

Teh secret plot of Drudles against CNC Software .

Limpards can be handy .

Slizzards ,Skryers and Noizers are distant relatives !

How to fight Crackhammers .

Weapons and spells against monsters .

Teh complete list of Monsters of teh Wood

and more ....

With some of my humble poems !!!

 

Great book of great naturalist .

 

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